Monday, January 30, 2006
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at my cousin`s house now.
(:
her computer is awesome.
whatever tania.
went to watch the heirloom yesterday
stupid show
waste my money
anyway yah i going out soon
so yeah will edit again.
i miss him.
8:51 PM;
Sunday, January 29, 2006
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happy chinese new year =]
best wishes to everyone
hope all your wishes come true
(hope mine comes true too)
time is running out for me
i dunno how much longer
i can take this
probably i`ll jush breakdown one day
no one knows
but well i dun care
and probably no one will too
i dun care what people say anymore
i jush wonder
when things will ever go back
to how it used to be
sighs
=[
i wish someone will tell me what to do
well it`s time to go
farewell. =]
5:34 PM;
Friday, January 27, 2006
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din go to school today
slept till one
and when he called me
i woke up =]
have to complete my dnt folio
by tomorrow
but stealing like 5mins
to come and post this
haven`t been feeling alright
these few days
=[
it`s painful waiting aimlessly
but i`ll try my best i promise
watched american idol jush now
it was kinda stupid though
im trying my best to cheer up now
=]
gtg do my folio
1:34 PM;
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
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okay fine
so now im even more confused
vanessa
what you trying to do. lol
anyway
im getting better
am i
actually im not sure either
what can i do besides being sad
stopped cutting myself
i think the scars look like rojak
so i`ll probably wait till it heals to cut again =x
stayed behind today to do dnt
NOT GEOG
im anti-geog
miss seah is a nice teacher. (:
i JUST realised it
she`s so nice to BULLY
anyway thanks marshmellow for being there
and yah
school`s boring lately
]=
im feeling very frustrated lately
sigh
can`t stand the chinese teacher
she took my one and only ear ring
that i was wearing away -.-
gosh
even the DM didn take any away
what a DM wannabe
jackie chan and kim`s 'endless love' is nice
[=
can`t smile properly
shall go bathe and update again later
EDIT.
2355pm
okays im back from my bath
smells nice
[=
trying to cheer myself up
trying to put a smile on my face
just hope it works
2:20 PM;
Monday, January 23, 2006
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i`ve decided to let things
go as time passes
i`ve been feeling real
frustrated these few days
and real down in the dumps
=[
it`s making me fall sick
and making me moody
it`s not a nice feeling at all
so i just wanna try be happy
while i can
=]
it`s tough but i`ll try my best
school starts again tomorrow
can`t wait
it`s there i forget all these troubles
right?
to people who hate me
go on =)
but let me know who you are
sounds dumb
but yeah jus let me know
it`ll be interesting right
4:36 PM;
Sunday, January 22, 2006
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tania has arose from the dead.
tania is fcukin confused now.
she`s sad and hurt and
she doesn`t know what to do right now
she tries to make heself busy
but it doesn`t work
it`s no use no matter what she does
she doesnt know
what is going to happen
the next moment
she doesnt care much
about what is going on
around her anymore
she just wants him back real bad
she just feels really down these days
and she`s falling sick now
she`s gotta go and she doesnt
know when she`ll be back.
2:59 PM;
Friday, January 20, 2006
title:{}
dead.
4:20 PM;
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
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GOD. miss seah reads brig`s blog.
i wonder if she has ever read mine.
=X hope not.
anyway school was okay.
i forgot to bring the dnt folio.
SORRY MISS SEAH. !!
oh yeah.
there was a gas leak in the bio lab today.
and since we were the first class to go in we were blamed for it.
i mean seriously, the idiot who did it is quite dumb uh.
firstly i think he must be getting bored of the school and wanted to burn it down.
secondly i think he`s an ass cos he got the whole class into trouble.
love is selfish.
you said it.
(:
so im gonna keep him with me for as long as i can keep him.
im not gonna be sad anymore.
i hope.
i`ll just love him more as the day goes by.
tomorrow`s wednesday.like duh.
darn, there`s remedial till 6 tomorrow.
so tiring.
my eyes are closing soon and i still have to do my folio later.
yawnn.
edit.
im sad.
wait a min.
no.
im jus not happy. -.-
1:11 PM;
Monday, January 16, 2006
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okay. stop driving me nuts alright.
stfu if you think im whatever you think.
wtf am i talking about.
sheesh. i dun care what you gonna do.
jus fuckin leave me alone.
thank you.
there`s school tommorow.
i have to find mrs koh cos i haven`t done the english test.
die.
by the way aaron and i went to plaza again today.
we watched `memoirs of a geisha`
.
hmmm nice.
oh yesh. he. yes HE. tricked me.
-.- and SHAWN. his accomplice.
dun wanna say it out. embarrassing okays.
and he still had the cheek to show me that cheeky face of his.
anyway we ate ajisen for lunch. yumm.
and then after the show we took neoprints again. yay !! (x
i look retarded in it though. hehs.
i just love him so much <33
iloveyou too brig.
period.
hehs.
3:50 PM;
Sunday, January 15, 2006
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skipped geography test today. gonna drop geog. so it`s okay. but i hear the hod wanna call parents.LOL. so be it. i think i gonna get screwed by the fcukin teachers on monday.
went out with brigitte today to orchard. we took neoprints at cine and it was the first time we took only once. saw this fcukin nice skirt but it had a nice price too so yeah decidedd not to get it. after that we went to far east to eat ramen10 cos raisin was working there. no offence but .. the food was fcukin spicy. they use chilli padi !! oh wells.
after that her friend, terence came. and so did aaron. i had such a fcukin hard time trying to finish that bowl of noodles. and of cos i din finish it. yeah we gave raisin a hard time.xP when we about to go to the restaurant we saw her. yeah her. oh puh-lease brig i think you are so much better looking den her. yupp. cheer up babe. (x
then we walked back to cine again and went to the top level. all the computer games shit. and yeah it was cool. there were rooms to rent to. so the 4 of us rented a room. the guys played their dumb games. brig and i watched some horror movie. darn scary. we were screaming like shit.
oh yes, i just realised it ain`t shauna in aaron`s blog. wtf? whatever. poser. i can`t be bothered. yupp. do what you like. if it`s fated you have him. i`ll gladly let you have him. and yes if you were wondering if i do love him. yes i do. call me whatever you like. i still love him. i will always love him. <33
6:41 PM;
Saturday, January 14, 2006
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oh right. hypocrite hypocrite.
right right.
heard lots of it.
just i wait.
alright i wait.
i shall show you im strong.
even if he leaves me for you.
so be it.
i can`t be bothered.
go on and assume.
be like that.
you two are a perfect match isn`t it.
im pissed.
im hurt.
im heartbroken.
yes that`s it.
so i heard.
i made him promise me.
i forced him to.
guess what.
i give up.
im tired.
do what you want.
i shall not bother.
)x
i feel like crying.
it`s a sad and lonely night.
it`s chilly here.
and there`s no one to give me warmth.
no one cares.
im tired of all these games.
loving you so much.
yet..
i get all these fuckin shit.
now and den.
living in FEAR of losing you.
and yet no one understands.
isn`t it quite fuckin obvious i do love you.
FUCK.
12:51 PM;
Monday, January 09, 2006
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sunday`s over. school tomorrow. arghs. wear tie. see the teachers. sit in the stuffy classroom. totally sucks. i skipped geog rememdial on saturday. wonder if i`d get into trouble. but who cares im planning to drop that subject anyways. it totally sucks.
didn`t do much today. he gave me a surprise by coming over today .LOL.watched the promise. watch him play the game f.e.a.r on his laptop. yawn. i need a fuckin new computer !! someone give me one. (: i wish.
2:49 AM;
Sunday, January 08, 2006
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hmmm .. it`s so late. or rather early in the morning. it`s kinda boring and it`s kinda chilly in here with the wind blowing and the cold weather lately. yawn.
went to plaza singapura again today and ate cafe cartel for dinner. den we watched 'the dark'. kinda thrilling but the ending was confusing. there were some fuckin idiots who kept talking in the cinema tho. and damn they were irritating. =x
haven`t been doing much lately. school has started already. and sec four is really tough. not sure how to cope also. gonna have remedials like everyday starting from next week.im so afraid i`ll have not enough time to spend with him and he`ll look for someone else. sigh. this feeling sucks.
it`s gonna be our one year and one month this tues. i wonder where we`ll be going. (: can`t wait. yawn. im sleepy.
6:41 PM;
Saturday, January 07, 2006
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back to post. finally.
talking to so many people on msn. luke is such an ass. so vulgar. sheesh. school has started. darn. sec four is such a busy year. how to cope like this.? remedial everyday. some even until 6. this is dumb.
and yes brigitte i hate the chinese teacher. she advertises for china on the first lesson. it`s so darn boring. how do you not expect me to fall asleep ?? and she still can ask me to stand up for sleeping. too bad. she`s just utterly boring lah. and worse still. she asked us to write an essay about what? BABIES. oh whatever. this is getting from bad to worse.
oh RIGHT. miss seah made us stay back today. supposedly to give us the theme for o levels dnt.in the end it can only be released on monday. darn. thought i could start on my folio during the weekends.
i owe kester ice cream. yay i have a grand daughter in-law.hehs. whatever. they are such a cute couple. just that they dun really seem like one. -.- hmmm. LOL.
there`s geography rememdial tomorrow.i dun feel like going at all. stupid teacher make us wake up so early to go to school for just one pathetic hour. how bad can it get. yawn. its raining heavily here. the sky is orange. what a nice time to sleep. double yawn .
im tired. sleepy. HATE SCHOOL.hate olevels.sigh.
5:27 PM;
Monday, January 02, 2006
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HAPPY NEW YEAR.
(belated)
went out today.
went to taka to eat lunch.
yumm.
den went to junction 8.
cut my fringe.
now i dunno how to tie up my hair tomorrow.
wanted to watch a movie.
but didnt in the end.
ate ice cream at haagen diaz.
expensive ice cream and yet the scoop so small.
there`s school tomorrow.
shucks.
time to make big big sacrifices.
damn.
hate the uniform.
hate long socks.
hate boring lessons.
yucks.
oh wells i guess i gotta face it.
actually im still waiting for another school`s reply.
i dun wanna stay in tk.
eeew. :x
alrights.
shan`t post too often now.
time to change blogskin too.
(:
2:57 PM;
Sunday, January 01, 2006
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got this from brigitte. she always has such nice stuff on her posts. *shrugs.
That poor girl, she's taking dAddy's scissors to her skin
She slits her wrists to kill all the pain that she's feeling within
She wishes she could go one day and not feel like she wants to die
Poor, poor girl...she's right infont of you but you don't see her thoughts of suicide
They run through her mind every single second of everyday
She tells her mom and dad that she feels fine and that everything's okay
When her boyfriend asks what's wrong she answers that it's nothing
But if you bothered to look in her eyes you'd know that it was something
She's sitting here suffering and their numb to what she feels
She hasn't done it yet but believe me...eventually she will
Her thoughts of being scared will just disappear and fade
She'll end up laying on the floor with nothing beside her but a note and a razorblade.
She tells dAddy that she loves him and she'll always be by his side
Her mom stands there speechless with tears welled up in her eyes
Her boyfriend kneels down and picks the note up off the floor
Everyone else left the room and behind them they closed the door
"Dear mom and dad...I'm sorry...but I just had to go.I'm sorry it had to end like this but I was tired of feeling so alone.I'm sorry to my boyfriend...I'm sorry everything I did was wrong
I'm sorry I pissed you off so much...I haven't felt your love in so long
But it's going to be all better now...you won't have to deal with me anymore
And I hope that you remember how heartbroken I was when you kissed that nasty whore
I try to talk to you and all you had to do was act like you cared
But you completely ignored me and acted like I wasn't even there
I wait for you to say I love you but I love you never comes
So I throw the phone across the room and I start to write to you that my life is finally done
You had no idea that that was the last phone call from me you would recieve
I don't think you really care, I doubt you'll even miss me.
So I'm sorry baby...but now I have to goI love you so fucking much and I wish you would've realized that a long time ago
I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad, that you'll never get to see me walk across that stage or see me get married.
It's not anyone's fault that they couldn't save me from this hellI love you all so much...
to my boyfriend...I still love you as well"
So the boy just sits there looking at the girl
He finally realizes that what he lost was his entire world
He thinks to himself that everything he had was gone just like that
He leaves the room and tells everyone that he'll be right back
Until they heard a gunshot and to the bathroom his parents fled
They saw he had killed himself the letter beside him read:
I don't want to live if she isn't here with meI'm sorry mom I'm sorry dad...please...forgive me
new year`s eve. gonna spend it alone AGAIN. guess it`ll always be me. just me. he`s gonna stay over at his brother`s house. how fun. sheesh.
time to change a new blogskin. but im lazy to change on. im bored. shall go to a bbq tonight den go to orchard.i think.might not go also.we shall see.
6:08 AM;