{SOMWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW}.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
title:{}

know whut?
im such a loser.
i mean truely a loser.

i just feel so fucked up i can kill anyone now.
i put a tattoo.
but now i dno what harm it will do to me.
UGH.
nevermind you won`t understand.

i never achieve anything big in life.
everyday i laugh with them.
i joke with them.
i listen to their criticisms.
i lower my head and lose my pride.
and in the end im not even sure whether its all worth it.
yea i get to learn sumthin.
but it aint anything out of the ordinary.
sucks huh.
im starting to think that place is like a wolf in sheep`s skin.

no wonder i see people quit after a few months.
and i was wondering how wierd was that.
i think i noe what to do now.

nope i aint gna give up.
its just i have to take a different road now.
its okay.
people aren`t always successful the first time.
at least i had some kind of acievement there.

GOSH.
this so sucks can?
i`ve been crying like an idiot these few days.
things have been going all wrong these few days.
FUCK IT.

yesterday i was supposed to work.
but didnt in the end.
WHY?
i set the alarm wrongly.
so i woke up when i heard the phone vibrating like crazy.
at 1051am my teacher was calling me like crazy.
i was supposed to be there at 10.
so i realised i set the alarm timing wrongly.
so i rush-d off immediately.

and like guess what.
when i was walking to the bus stop.
she msg-d me : boss said you need not come to work today . . .
i was like okay wtf.
im late.
SO?
man dun people make mistakes once in awhile?
gosh.
and im not the only one working yesterday.
and the point is at least i bother-d to rush down.
i even msg-d my boss sorry but no reply.
so fuck-d up man.

so i walk-d back.
i sat under the block and stone-d.
i really din noe whut to do.
no one was free.
den suddenly mich msg-d me if i could find her.
so i was thinking anyway nth to do.

so i went back to change.
and train-d down to cityhall.
met her.
we went to marina square to slack.
talk-d quite abit.
and she cried.
just trying to advice her.

den we went to peninsular.
to get my tattoo done.
RAWR.
its a dolphin.
(:

den after that was orchard.
i went to pop by to say hi to brig.
FINALLY I SEE HER LA.
wth.
said hi den show her my tattoo den go liao.
=.=
den follow-d mich to fareast.
go meet her friend.
smok-d den went off to bugis.

met her another friend there.
went to taper some jeans.
den it was almost 10 i think.
so i left to boat quay and i think they went to Rush.
i reach-d raffles mrt den alvin call-d me.

he said meet for dinner.
so i waited there.
and when i saw him and his friend i was like...
omg small ah bengs.

we went to macs.
den i msg-d hubby to come over.
nth just sat there till like 11plus talking about stupid maple.
as for me i was jsut thinking how to tell him about the tattoo.

after the2 small boys went off.
b and i went to a pub to drink.
and we talk-d quite abit.
he din go bullustic when i told him i did it luh.
but he was pretty angry!
he told me to laser it off.
or make sure he never sees it.
RAWR.
>:c

omg wait.
i jsut talk-d to a korean guy over the phone.
darn funny.
no luhh k.
i was just calling up a grooming school.
the korean teacher call-d me back.
i was trying hard not to laugh at the way he speak english.
but anyway yah.
i`ll probably go down tmr to take a look at the school.
IM TRYING SO HARD TO LOOK FOR XIAOMEI.
but i cant reach her.
she`s probably still sleeping.

im such a weak person.
i know that.
i get influence-d by people very easily.
like SUPER easily.
and i hate to face reality.
HATE HATE HATE LIKE TOTALLY.
no matter how hard i try i always try to run.
STUPID RIGHT.
ya i know.
im trying to change okay.
very hard in fact.

life is so tiring and so hard.
only the strong manage to live till the end.
the weak always dies.
thats just the hard truth.

working life is so hard.
i never knew i really didnt.
but now i know.
im gna change a new environment and start anew.
(:

so i better get myself prepared for everything first.
xing li zun bei.
LOL.
im feeling better now.
just a lil.
=[

i hope things get better.

oh cool its 070707 today.
NICE.
xD

1:37 AM;

N {yours truly}

.taniayan.
.011189.
.currently 17plus.
.attached.
.dog grooming

i totallyadore
.black.
.orange.
.the sunrise.
.pups.
.lolipops.
.shopping.
.horror flicks.

i totallydetest
.flirts.
.playboys.
.liars.
.backstabbers.
.hypocrites.
.CRYING.



N {ATRIBUIR}

Please dont judge me by my face, by my religion or my race. Please dont laugh at what I wear, or how I look or do my hair. Please look a little deeper, way down deep inside. And although you may not see it, I have a lot to hide. Behind my clothes the secrets lie, behind my smile I softly cry. Please look a little deeper, and maybe you will see. The lonely little girl, that lives inside of me. Please listen carefully to her, she'll show that she is insecure. Please try to be a friend to her, and show her that you care. Please just get to know her, and maybe you will see. That if you just look deep enough, you'll find the real me.

N {my dreams}

to get married at fullerton.
for more money.
for more clothes.
for a new handphone7610.
for another new handphone.
for a new house.
to study in australia.
to get a golden retriever.
to get a husky.
to get a german shepherd.
to watch the sunrise/sunset with HIM.
to go star gazing with HIM.
to migrate.
to go horseback riding by the beach.
for her own computer.
for her own digital camera.
to rebond her hair.
for blue contacts.
for new spectacles.
to meet michael chad murray.
to meet TORRES.
to forget the past
TO DIE.

N {AMI}

`` aaron
`` alexandria
`` brigitte
`` carmen
`` charlotte
`` charmm
`` chiwen
`` de xin
`` dulcie
`` elenor
`` fang lynn
`` gabriel
`` gillian
`` heart of God church
`` hidayah
`` izzat
`` jaja
`` jason
`` jazlyn
`` jennifer
`` justin
`` jia hui
`` jian he
`` jiale
`` kai sheng
`` mee han
`` melvin
`` michelle
`` ming rong
`` nicholas how
`` one destination
`` ryan
`` sally
`` sim yee
`` siyang
`` solomon
`` valerie
`` xiu qi



N {DISCOURIR}



N {the past}

> November 2004
> December 2004
> January 2005
> February 2005
> March 2005
> April 2005
> May 2005
> June 2005
> July 2005
> August 2005
> September 2005
> October 2005
> November 2005
> December 2005
> January 2006
> February 2006
> March 2006
> April 2006
> May 2006
> June 2006
> July 2006
> August 2006
> September 2006
> October 2006
> November 2006
> December 2006
> January 2007
> February 2007
> March 2007
> April 2007
> May 2007
> June 2007
> July 2007
> August 2007
> September 2007
> October 2007
> November 2007
> December 2007
> February 2008
> March 2008
> April 2008
> May 2008






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