im running out of strength.

remember how hard it was for us to get back together.

dont start your nonsense again,

i beg you.

home from work.
today was...well, okay.
bought macs back for dinner.
:DD
long time since i`ve had fast food.

he`s sleeping alr.
not feeling well i suppose.
he`s not been sleeping much these few days.
i wonder when will he learn to take care of himself.
sometimes he just doesnt know his limits.

theres some gay show on tv now.
fighting and stuff.
im B-O-R-E-D.
nothing to do at all.
here fagging my life away.

still got to work tmr.
super turn off.
nevermind.
2 more days to my offday.
soon soon.

ohyeah did i mention,
im going to genting on the 16th of april with kelvin.
CANT WAIT.
okay la i know its just genting.
but hey, its the first trip im paying for myself.
its the sense of achievement okay!
the day is getting nearer !!!!!
omgggggg.

alrights i shall go now.
too much on my mind.

i dont really like your excuses.
actually, i dont like them at all.

off today.
rotting at home today.
life is so boring.

might be going down to clementi tmr.
to find that small boy.
and den go to ps and meet the other small boy.
=_=

in any case,
i wna go smoke now.


PS: i miss you damn badly im gna die.

im home.
(:

tmr`s my off day.
and im not really looking forward to it.

im trying my best but i dun think i can make it.
i wish every day and night you werent like this.
you used to tell me everything and anything but not anymore.
you were the one who told me never to keep secrets between us no matter what.
i dun feel like im important anymore.
there was a time i felt like i meant everything to you.
but now, i feel like im nothing.
goodbye.

today was a ... okay day.
i learnt alot of things.
LOL.

but im confused now as whether to change job.
):
BIG BIG SOB.
im tempted DURH.
the pays higher.
but i know the boss is like shit too.
HAH.
so well....
i cant have the best of both worlds.
so hon said he will go down with me on friday to see the contract.

went down to fel`s shop today.
very boring lor i tell you.
i think if i were her i would die of boredom.
=_=

anyways........
im lazy alr.
so bye.
(:
working tmr.

GOOD MORNINGG.
:DD
im feeling much better today.

woke up at 10plus.
early huh.
cos hon woke me up by calling me.
and i couldnt get back to sleep.

he`s on his way back now.
-smiles.
was talking to joy on the phone just now.
we were absolutely BORED to death can.
cos we both were lazing at home with nth to do.
and the weather is so hot it spoils your mood.
furthermore, im broke.
so its just gotta be stay home for me.
sigh.

tmr im gna find felicia.
:DD
nt gna be bored.

alrights i wna go fag.
BYE.

not in a very good mood now.
cos im not really happy with some things he do.
and adding on im having my period.
so im really tempremental(however you spell it, idc) now.
):

i dont like him calling girls to talk just cos he`s bored.
worse still, asking girls to call him.
WORST OF ALL?
they are not close friends.
to make things even worse?
they are all young girls with no brains.
they often misunderstand things.
AND they have no freakin limits.

llike hello.
open your eyes.
people has a girlfriend.
stop touching him man.
stop acting like a bimbo.

okay enough ranting.
today was fine at work.
the bitch didn come.
that makes me alot happier.
and i mean ALOT.
:DD

we finished on time.
me and ahna.
so packed up and left at 630.
its not often we get to finish work still getting to see the sky brightly lit.
train-d to kembangan.
den joy came to pick us.
went to her house to see the baby.
she`s like oh-so-cute.
but looks like a boy cos they shaved off all her hair.
=_=

talked alot of rubbish there.
laughed a hell lot too.
got to see cookie, dior, fumi, boey and not forgetting that big, fat bull mastiff dukey.
missed them hell lots.

im sleepy and tired.
but i cant sleep.
i miss him too much.
i miss the times where we would just cuddle on the couch doing nth.
i miss the times where we could sleep together.
but he`s working the midnight shift this week.
and our off days didn clash.
i hate it when he works midnight.
i din even get to freakin see him today.
how fuck-d up can it get?
what a bad day for me.
:(

im off tmr.
so i dun have to sleep early.
but i have nth to do except watch tv and smoke.
sheesh.

im going off the com.
so goodnights everyone.

to DAD :
you are getting on my nerves.
i cant explain this feeling.
you are unsupportive, not understanding and think you`re in the right all the time.
just because you are the father.
grow up daddy , its 2008.
the generations now no longer believe in traditions.
well at least majority of them dont.
i used to look up to you.
but now i dont even wna look at you.

its 1 in the morning.
still too early to sleep.

hon and i had some misunderstandings just now before he went to work.
den he msg-d me and told me i needed to change.
well not for the sake of pleasing him,
just telling me the world doesnt change for me.
sometimes i wonder how he can think so maturely with that childish lil brain of his.
but he told me something that made me tear.
not something sad.
something touching.
i think he has grown up.
i haven though.
IM TRYING ALREADY.
ohwells.

ive thought about it.
im so over with what happened at work today.
listen up bitch, im going to win you someday soon.
so watch out.
being a two headed snake doesnt help you.
i pity your good friend.
you speak like an angel in front of her, but behind her back, all those nasty things you`ve said.
poor lil thing.
trying to pretend to be nice for what reason?
to get a pay-rise?
to get everyone on your side?
to get into the boss good books?
i believe the upper levels have their own eyes to see and judge for themselves.
its time to change your fucked up attitude.
(:

my leg is having a bad cramp.
where has all the rain gone to?
=x
i miss the rainy weather.
well at least i think its better den having to melt in the hot sun.

i wanna go fag.
so goodnight everyone.

PS : iLu honeypie.

back from work.
today kinda cocked up with some things.
and that bitch`s attitude is getting from bad to worse.
help also don help.
so don even think about blaming people.
thankyou.

so yes im home.
and he`s sleeping.
well i saw some things but i dun wanna ask.
i mean also no point what.
i should just judge for myself.
i have my own eyes to see.

work again tmr.
but nvm tis sunday alr.
:DD
wheeee.
den monday`s my off.
i shall see who is free on that day and i shall be their companion.
LOL.

life is boring.
and yes like what i said before,
i believe people have their own eyes to see.
i am no pretence.
(:

bye.
dinner is ready.

omg its 12 already.
late!!!!!

work was alright today.
kinda slacky.

actually theres nth much to say.
im tired and sleepy.
alot of things on my mind.
im lazy to pin them all down.
something is freakin wrong with friendster again and its pissing me off.

i have to work tmr.
but i dun feel like sleeping so soon.
i think you should know why.


ps : baby, i know i go on and on about alot of the things you do that make me unhappy. always asking you to be more sensitive and attentive. well, despite all these, i just want to let you know that im still happy the way you are now. i appreciate all the things that you have done for me till this day. i remember every single surprise you gave me. the happy memories that we had together are forever in my heart. i can never forget the things you have done.
reason : iloveyou.

BIG BIG YAWNS-

what do you expect?
its 3plus in the morning and i have to work tmr.
yes im tired.
but guess what, spending time with him is much more important.
cos yest and today was his off day.
so yeah thought i`d stay up later so i can see him more.
:DD
tell me im a good gf.
i always was.

im not sure if i should go to sleep now or just stay up till morning.
i think i will die.

anyway,today was fine.
had work as usual.
so left house at 10.
train-d to work.
and yes it rained the whole day again.
it was spoiling everyone`s mood and i was freezing badly.
but wierdly, time passed by so quickly today.
i wonder why.

daddy came to pick me at 730.
the jam on the way back was BAD.
but it didnt matter anyway.

was really happy to be home.
cos i could see that asshole.
yes playing games again.
what else can he do.

i need a cigg badly now.
but im afraid to go to the kitchen alone.
call me timid.
w/e.
i watched some retarded ghost show on tv just now.
so im kinda freaked out now.

i have nth to do.
IM BORED BORED BORED.
my hair is still wet.
its taking so long to dry!!!
i bathe like 2hours ago!!!!
cant imagine.


p.s : i wish you paid more attention to me. i wish you know how to pioritise and not put your ego in the first place.(you now what i mean) i wish you wouldnt talk to other girls the same way you talk to me. it makes me feel as if i`ve of no importance to you.

okay i shall stop ranting.
goodnights. (:

oh and yes.
happy 1 year, 3mths & 1day anni baby.
<33

HOME FROM WORK at erm 8plus.
:DD
seldom huh.

retarded parents.
i must work hard, end more money and move out of this retarded house ASAP.
you know what i mean by ASAP?
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
i really wish i dun have to depend on anybody for anything.
so i dun owe any explanation to anybody.
GOOD.
this shall be my goal.

ok continue.
went to find him at bugis.
ate some rubbish.
den decided to 12 home.
BUT...when we got up the bus, there was no more space left.
HOW RETARDED.
and it was getting filled with more .. you know blackies.
so we alighted at lavender.
smoked...and ended up looking for a toilet.

train-d to tm den 29 home.
sigh.
i have no mood to do anything.

and once again,
thanks alot.
i will try to put a smile on my face.
i promise i will try.

i`ve said : DUN MAKE ME PLAY THIS FUCKIN GAME ANYMORE.
because i am starting to get really really tired of it.
mentally tired.
i`ve tried to start everything over again.
but dun do this to me.
its taking a toll on me.
one day i will really start not bothering about anything anymore.
im sorry i have to say this.
i love you too much thats why everything you do is affecting me so much.
i tried to let you go.
i cant.
because i want only you in my life.
but for the last time.
quit playing games with my heart.

bye.

you know what?
im sick and tired of playing the guessing game with you.
when are you going to stop?

yeah people are right.
you get more disappointed with higher expectations.
guess i should just have the 'cant-be-bothered' kind of attitude now huh.
HURHUR.
i will try.

im up so early for the first time in such a long time.
okay sounds wierd.
w/e.
i just sent baby to the door and he`s probably reaching his workplace anytime.
i dun feel like sleeping.
so i shall just try to keep myself busy for the time being.
i got to work later on.
and my stomach`s not feeling really good.
having pretty bad cramps this time.
i dno why.

okay luhh.
the bed is calling me.
i think i shall go sleep.
bye.

.taniayan.
.011189.
.currently 17plus.
.attached.
.dog grooming

i totallyadore
.black.
.orange.
.the sunrise.
.pups.
.lolipops.
.shopping.
.horror flicks.

i totallydetest
.flirts.
.playboys.
.liars.
.backstabbers.
.hypocrites.
.CRYING.

Please dont judge me by my face, by my religion or my race. Please dont laugh at what I wear, or how I look or do my hair. Please look a little deeper, way down deep inside. And although you may not see it, I have a lot to hide. Behind my clothes the secrets lie, behind my smile I softly cry. Please look a little deeper, and maybe you will see. The lonely little girl, that lives inside of me. Please listen carefully to her, she'll show that she is insecure. Please try to be a friend to her, and show her that you care. Please just get to know her, and maybe you will see. That if you just look deep enough, you'll find the real me.


to get married at fullerton.
for more money.
for more clothes.
for a new handphone7610.
for another new handphone.
for a new house.
to study in australia.
to get a golden retriever.
to get a husky.
to get a german shepherd.
to watch the sunrise/sunset with HIM.
to go star gazing with HIM.
to migrate.
to go horseback riding by the beach.
for her own computer.
for her own digital camera.
to rebond her hair.
for blue contacts.
for new spectacles.
to meet michael chad murray.
to meet TORRES.
to forget the past
TO DIE.


`` aaron
`` alexandria
`` brigitte
`` carmen
`` charlotte
`` charmm
`` chiwen
`` de xin
`` dulcie
`` elenor
`` fang lynn
`` gabriel
`` gillian
`` heart of God church
`` hidayah
`` izzat
`` jaja
`` jason
`` jazlyn
`` jennifer
`` justin
`` jia hui
`` jian he
`` jiale
`` kai sheng
`` mee han
`` melvin
`` michelle
`` ming rong
`` nicholas how
`` one destination
`` ryan
`` sally
`` sim yee
`` siyang
`` solomon
`` valerie
`` xiu qi

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